whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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