So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
