what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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