actually, I'm a sock model
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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