you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
