What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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