i need an iv and a liver transplant
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
