I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
