I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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