No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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