I wish I could punch you in the face.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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