On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
