24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
