I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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