thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
