He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
