my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
