How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize