Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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