maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
