I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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