it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
