Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
