Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
