yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
