We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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