i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize