i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
