You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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