sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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