i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
