:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
