Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
