Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
