Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
