I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
