I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
