Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
That was an excessively violent trivia night
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
