"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize