I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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