Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize