p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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