White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
