she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
whose parrot is this?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
