somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
