so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think weed is turning my hair brown
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
