Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its about making memories worth repressing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
