I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
