whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize