That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
