that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My vagina just recognized that song.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
