The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
