I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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