hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
