Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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