a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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