time to smoke my breakfast
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
