If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
